Let's see the day started off with me going to bed early which is around 3-4am and had a cry before I went to sleep. This is super rare for me as don't usually feel that sad at all.
For some unknown reason I was on a real low, had lots of nostalgic moments and was thinking of my dad. This came from dreams I had the day before Dad when he was ill. Thought I would've had nice ones instead no they were about how he was, how he snapped things i'd thought i'd forgotten as try not to remember that stuff as it's upsetting. And now because of it i'm stuck with a look of him in my head I can't shift and it horrible. Somethings I guess you never forget yet usually can remember him healthy and well. Sure I do occassionally remember how he was when he was ill. But this memory is one of the last 2-3 of him I have and I hate it. It's making me sad to point all I want to do is cry.. I've been fine for the past 8 years and now, why now it's hitting me again old memories I guess I usually can shift the mood pretty quick and forget about it. But not today!
Following that I went into town to sign on on the way home I got on a bus and got off at the wrong place god knows where I was I headed for the pub and phoned for a taxi, i was frozen couldnt feel anything face, hands and feet. By time I got to a road near wher eI live i got out of taxi and walked rest of way to try and shift my mood and to think. What a bad idea that was. I guess i'm in one of those moods I just want to go to bed and sleep and be alone sounds awful i'm trying to be chirpy just really difficult. Even randy knows somethings not right with me im usually blustery bouncy cheerful chipper lou.
Oh wells maybe it be better tomorrow...
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